So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
