We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
