At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
