He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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