I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think my vagina is haunted
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
