I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
