drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Alive.
So much puke
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
