You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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