reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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