Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
