You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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