We need to rekindle our bromance
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
