its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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