We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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