ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
