So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They are going to name an STD after you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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