it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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