Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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