Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
