You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
