She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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