somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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