hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
