garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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