My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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