You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
