I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
