I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
