What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
