PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
