I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
