you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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