So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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