She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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