Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize