I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
