Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
