look no pants
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
