i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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