Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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