yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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