Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
