all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
