Don't you send me to vm
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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