No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
