Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
