So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I love you. Go after that dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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