One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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