apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS