Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?