Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  jesus mom

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  (914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum? (773): jesus mom http://tfl.nu/qe6d
  Replies (11) Good night (1083) Bad night (1970)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

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  (775): I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again. http://tfl.nu/wdl0
  Replies (10) Good night (1850) Bad night (601)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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  (615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9
  Replies (30) Good night (703) Bad night (2980)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.

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  (208): you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it. http://tfl.nu/lcjh
  Replies (22) Good night (758) Bad night (4060)
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  (805): View more from California

  Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.

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  (805): Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die. http://tfl.nu/cdvk
  Replies (13) Good night (776) Bad night (2707)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.

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  (973): Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not. http://tfl.nu/kqhm
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (3115)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ...i wondered where i left that...

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  (732): please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong... (1-732): ...i wondered where i left that... http://tfl.nu/q7mv
  Replies (3) Good night (2477) Bad night (646)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..

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  (+64): I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom.. http://tfl.nu/wie2
  Replies (6) Good night (1320) Bad night (658)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  ??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.

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  (306): ??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas. http://tfl.nu/j6o2
  Replies (8) Good night (3151) Bad night (680)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage

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  (201): His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage http://tfl.nu/lo9j
  Replies (5) Good night (2020) Bad night (608)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.

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  (816): If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide. http://tfl.nu/28e3
  Replies (8) Good night (533) Bad night (907)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

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  (801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (455)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"

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  (618): Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin" http://tfl.nu/b2j2
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (350)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me

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  (514): In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me http://tfl.nu/f4ks
  Replies (0) Good night (813) Bad night (304)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.

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  (716): I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand. http://tfl.nu/bl1h
  Replies (5) Good night (192) Bad night (783)

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