They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.