woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation