who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize