she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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