I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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