I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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