There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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