some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
