RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize