part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
