I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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