it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
