first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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