strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
