There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
